'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
