I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
