I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
