so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
