If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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