ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
