I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
