i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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