can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
