physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You are a genius and a whore.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
false alarm, still single
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
