Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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