Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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