Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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