***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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