My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
