It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
