16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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