need another drink. this is the easiest way
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I touched a dick in church today
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
