STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
