I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize