i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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