the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
