sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
