we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
