I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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