he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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