and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
