it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I am one with the molecules
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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