I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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