i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
