She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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