O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
