Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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