how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
