took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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