I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
