You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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