God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
