My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
