I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
