It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
not ubering you a puppy
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
