just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just gargled with NyQuil
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
