8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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