Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
