I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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