some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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