did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
