counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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