i barfeds in our rink
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
