There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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