Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
