ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
