; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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