Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
