Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
So much rum. So many feels.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
