I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
