3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Enjoy the penises
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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